First 6 Weeks After Baby

Today is 6 weeks since the birth of my second child! It has inspired me to sum a few things. Once you have give birth you're filled with excitement. After about 40 weeks of waiting (which felt like it was never going to end) you get to hold this wonderful little miracle in your arms and imagine that picture perfect image in your head of you and your partner smiling down at baby in awe. Well, after a few hours the real "fun" begins.

Breastfeeding

Once you have baby you get to start the loving journey of breastfeeding. You look down if you're a first time mom and panic a little bit sometimes. What do I do, do I just put my boob in his/her mouth? Is she/he breathing?! Am I doing it right?! With the help of a good (I don't mean OK, I mean damn good!) lactation consultant, you can have all your questions answered. Just ask the hospital or birthing center to have them pop by your room ASAP to ease your worries. They can show you how to get baby to properly latch on, show you a few positions that will work for you (C section moms can try football clutch to avoid pressure on their incision), and they can show you how to hand express some colostrum. They can also bring you a breastpump if you need and show you how to use it as well. Getting into a good routine is very important. 

The first few weeks really are the hardest and as long as you stay calm, try to drink a lot of water (like 8 ounces before every feeding), and get as much rest as you can, then you CAN be successful at it. Once you get baby latching on well you may notice after a few weeks (maybe even up to the first month) that your nipples are toughening up. The first days you may experience cracked, sore, even bleeding nipples. Don't be discouraged! Breastfeeding should not feel painful while the baby is nursing, if it does then simply remove baby by sliding your pinky into the corner of their mouth and breaking the suction. Then readjust and get baby back on. Sometimes it takes a few (or several tries) to get the baby to latch on and stay on. You can start feeling nervous like you're not doing it right or worried. Just take a deep breath and relax. This happens to all mothers. Your new baby is learning to eat for the first time just as you are learning to breastfeed for the first time. Neither one of you are pros at it, even if it's your second or third child! Until your nipples "toughen up" you will notice that anything touching them can HURT! Getting out of the shower and using a towel, OW! Even the shower pressure can hurt! Breast pads rubbing inside your nursing bra, OW! Wearing a bra in general... OUCH! It's going to pass. It may last a few weeks but WILL go away! I also recommend using Bamboobies washable nursing pads. The disposables can lead to thrush which is like a yeast infection in your baby's mouth and on your boob! EXTREMELY PAINFUL and requires medical attention and antibiotics. Remember to change nursing or breast pads often to avoid thrush and no one wants to walk around with wet boobies all day.

For more on breastfeeding please see my other post "Breastfeeding 101" on my blog.

Baby Formula

Some mothers choose not to breastfeed or think that they can't. If they don't want to be pressured into it that's fine. Just make sure you let the doctors, nurses, and your spouse know what your feeding plans are for the baby and that you want to stick to it! When baby is born, usually a feeding is offered at about 15 mL to see how much the baby will take. Usually a routine is established by spacing out babies feeding every 2-3 hours the first few days. If baby's been sleeping for 3 hours and you don't want to wake them up to feed ask your partner to do the next feeding so that you can rest. Nurses in the hospital will give you a chart to monitor how many wet/poopy diapers baby is making and to track the times of the feeding with the amount given. Your baby's doctor will help you to determine how much formula to give at each feeding and how often. You DO NOT want to give baby too much formula. Eating to the point where they are turning their heads away, spitting up, or falling asleep is NOT a good thing. Each time they eat until the point in which they are full, they are expanding their tiny little stomaches beyond what it can hold. Another sign that baby is full is taking too long to finish a bottle. Many parents think I poured X amount into the bottle and baby needs to drink the whole thing. This is NOT correct. Baby may not be fully hungry or it may just be too much at that time. Let the baby drink until you notice the suckling slow down drastically. If baby begins to give long sighs between swallows, that may be another sign that they are finished with that feeding. Just because you pour 2 oz DOES NOT mean baby will drink it all and that is perfect OK! Also, if baby doesn't finish all the milk in the bottle, DO NOT save it. You must pour it out and give a fresh bottle at each feeding.

Sleep when baby sleeps

We've all heard that. As I first (and second time) mother I kind of shrug it off... A LOT! Then I regret it later. When baby is sleeping my first thoughts are "Now I can shower, let's wash baby clothes/bedding/blankets/everything that's pooped or spit on, or let me just cook and eat something "real quick." Pretty much every time I go to do these things I feel like kicking myself shortly afterwards. The main reason is that after having a baby YOU NEED REST! It's no joke, you are tired, a little slower than usual, and sometimes really sore! Your body as just gone through something that is has never experienced before (unless you have more than one child) and needs time to recover.

Especially mothers who have had C sections. Over doing it, ANYTHING really can cause you to pop your stitches and that can be VERY dangerous. If you have had a C section you can't drive, lift anything besides your baby (which even I could barely do), or vacuum. Yes, vacuum random I know but the movement really works your midsection and can cause some serious damage. Try to have your spouse take off the first two weeks after baby or have another family member assist you during that time. Every time you finish a feeding just try to sleep a little. Don't worry about the dishes, what's for dinner, the laundry, or how untidy the house is. You just had a baby and it's perfectly FINE! No one makes rude comments to a new mother about maintaining the home within the first few months even. If someone does... simply tell them that you're too focused on what's important (bonding with your baby) to care about such a simple task that isn't harming anyone. If they are uncomfortable, they can leave.

Visiting the new baby

"She had the baby?!?! I've got to go visit." Most non-parent girlfriends have this thought. Parents know that the new mom needs some time and it can wait a couple weeks or months. Especially this day in age. We have social media and they can see the baby through photos or video chat! I know I didn't want anyone breathing all over my precious little baby who was barely able to keep it's eyes open. If you do want friends and family to come visit, simply ask for them to bring a dish for dinner or pick up something for you and the spouse to eat. MOST people do this already but for those who haven't thought of it, it's not rude. I would pretty much DEMAND it. "Oh you'd like to come see the baby? Sure but bring a pizza (or KFC or something quick and easy! maybe even cookies since you know you won't be baking anytime soon)." Most friends do ask do you need anything? If you do, don't be afraid to say it! For a new mom you can forget to pick up all sorts of things. If you're friend/sister/mother wants to pick up some baby bottle nipples for pads for you don't be afraid to tell her you need them! If you are a little weird about asking just say "Would you mind picking me up XYZ and I promise you first picks when the newborn portraits come in!"

When you do have guests visiting you and your new little family, don't be offended if they start doing any of the following: cooking, cleaning, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, laundry (yes even your undies!), or dusting. They KNOW you don't have the time or energy for this and would do it if you could. Most moms just come and over and do it for you because they know that you would do the same, and will when they have their next child! Make sure to thank them endlessly and let them know that their help was greatly appreciated. Also, as a little side note: when you are healed... a great thank you is giving them freshly baked goods, a gift card to their favorite store or restaurant, or having them over for dinner.

Bleeding

Once you have the baby from that moment for the next [up to] 6 weeks, you have lochia. lochia is the vaginal discharge after giving birth (puerperium) containing blood, mucus, and uterian tissue. Lochia discharge typically continues for 4 to 6 weeks after childbirth. It is sterile for the first 2–3 days, but not so by the third or fourth day, as the uterus begins to be colonized by vaginal commensals such as non-hemolyticstreptococci and E. coli.

It progresses through three stages:

1. Lochia rubra (or cruenta) is the first discharge, red in color because of the large amount of blood it contains. It typically lasts no longer than 3 to 5 days after birth.
2. Lochia serosa is the term for lochia that has thinned and turned brownish or pink in color. It contains serous exudate, erythrocytes, leukocytes, and cervical mucus. This stage continues until around the tenth day after delivery. Lochia serosa which persists to some weeks after birth can indicate late postpartum hemorrhaging, and should be reported to a physician.
3. Lochia alba (or purulenta) is the name for lochia once it has turned whitish or yellowish-white. It typically lasts from the second through the third to sixth weeks after delivery. It contains fewer red blood cells and is mainly made up of leukocytes, epithelial cells, cholesterol, fat, and mucus. Continuation beyond a few weeks can indicate a genital lesion, which should be reported to a physician.

Now during this time it is recommended that you only used heavy flow pads. Well, I recommend ONLY using overnights with wings the entire time! Better safe than sorry. If you bleed too much it will go through all your clothing and no one wants that embarrassment. Also, some women bleed for less than 4 weeks and others all the way until their postpartum check up. Either way make sure you only use pads and NEVER tampons during this time. Once your periods resume (which is you are breastfeeding they may not return until you stop) then you may use tampons again. Doctors will also tell you to make sure to NOT have sex until at least 6 weeks after birth. You can get pregnant even if breastfeeding and once you attend your 6 week check up you can discuss birth control or planning your next child.

So you made it through the first 6 weeks after having your beautiful new baby. Now what?

Once you get the all clear from your 6 week check up, you can resume all normal activities. You can start exercising, resume all household chores, have sex, and if needed go back to work. I personally believe in spending that first year home with baby (or at least 6 months) but that's because I live in Canada and we have a year of maternity leave and our husbands get paternity leave as well (paid of course). Now you know some of the things to expect during the first six weeks after having a baby.

Baby Basics. A place to sleep, clothing, and diapers.

When it comes to having a baby, whether it's your first child or not, you can get a little overwhelmed in the search for baby gear. Now we all know baby's need a place to sleep, clothes to wear, and of course diapers. Just these items alone can break the bank if you aren't sure what you really need. Here are some tips. Keep in mind that these are just my opinions and it's because I'm on my second child and have a little bit of experience.

A safe place to sleep

As far as a place to sleep goes, in the first few months (I want to say up to about 6 months or before they sit up unassisted), baby does NOT need a crib. I know every mom pictures herself coming home from the hospital and placing that beautiful newborn into her own crib with a super cute bedding set in her fabulously decorated nursery. Whelp... unless you have an extra room for baby, which many parents do, then image that big ol' crib squeezed in your bedroom (maybe living room). Not the ideal image of that dream nursery but do-able. A little bit more realistic of a choice is getting a bassinet (which holds baby until he/she can start to push up on to the elbows or starts to roll over), or a pack n play. Personally, I have both but prefer putting Kaleb into the pack n play, which I'm currently using as a bassinet, to sleep.

We were given ours from my father in law as a gift. It's the new Lion King 100% washable playard. Yes, you heard that right! The whole thing unzips and can be thrown right into our washing machine. GENIUS! Why didn't they think of this 4 years ago when I had Layla. So many times she's spit up or drooled all over that thing and I'd think to myself, "How am I ever going to clean the top rail, netting, and mattress cover?!" Anyway, it comes with the changing table, has a bassinet that can be lowered to the bottom to become a playpen, and of course a little storage. I'm using my Graco pack n play sheets from Layla's old one on this model even though it's a different brand. They are usually all the same size mattress pad, lucky for me. Best part about this little item is, baby can use it up to 24 months old, or when he/she starts to climb out.

Clothing

Now as far as clothing... YES, we all want baby dressed in the cutest outfits. Really though, if you really think about it, they outgrow clothing the first year of life like you wouldn't believe! Just stop to think about all the sizes you can buy for a baby. No, seriously... they have a lot and they are outgrown any where between 8-12 weeks at a time. Here's the sizing chart for my favorite brand of baby and toddler clothing, Carters.

As you may have noticed, some "well grown" babies are born wearing size 0-3 months right away. Heck both my children were 8 lbs and some change. They wore newborn for like a week and then I could barely snap the bottoms because they were too tall and plump. 

Carters, which just bought out OshKosh B'Gosh makes some really cute clothing and they are the known by other names at other stores. You can find their clothing at Macy's, Babies R Us, Marshall's, TJ Maxx, Ross, and Winners (Canada). In Target the line of clothing is called Just One You by Carters and in Walmart  Child of Mine by Carters. Remember though, baby clothing can be costly. A set of 3 pieces, onesie-pants-jacket can be $15-20. THAT'S JUST ONE OUTFIT! If you've got a messy baby you could go through 3 outfits a day and 2 PJs at night! For a first time mom, I think I'd recommend buying a 3-5 pack of onesies in each of those sizes above (starting at 0-3 months of course!), a couple pants, shorts, and skirts or dresses. As far as coats, jackets, and sweaters go, I'd have two in 6 months and two in 12 months. It's ok if the sleeves are a little long, but really hold up all the sizes together it's the smallest difference in size from a 3 to 6 month or 9 to 12 month! It's insane. Now, what about baby shoes? I knew you'd ask. I have one for each size but really my baby is 3 months old and has only worn shoes twice... until they start walking, what's the point? Most of the time it's just socks that work for us. The good news about that is socks come in size 3-12 months or 12-24 months, so they last a long time!

How can I save money on baby clothing?

Saving money on baby items, especially clothing should be a job for me. I'm good, like really good. I stalk the sites for all those store for sales, coupons, seasonal changes (for buying a year later's size like 18 months on sale!), and of course clearance. However, my favorite store in the world is Once Upon A Child. They buy and sell gently used baby items and clothing. They pay you cash for your outgrown, stain and tear-free clothing and shoes. Since baby's outgrow clothing so fast (my baby at two months was wearing size 3-6 months), you can find A LOT of things that look brand new! I love to go to there stores and get clothing and shoes for my two kids. They sell newborn to kid's size 12. If you're really luck you can get brand new items with the tags still on for $2.00-$5.00. Perfect example, I got Layla Air Jordan's for $8.00 and they retail for over $40.00! I would definitely recommend getting a lot of clothing from them, or maybe some local consignment stores.

DIAPERS!!

When it comes to what kind of diapers, which, brands, and what sizes are needed, new moms can get a little overwhelmed. I'm not for or against cloth vs disposables (well maybe a little one way more than the other). When it comes to you and your family, it's all about money, time, and support. With my daughter she used Pampers (Swaddlers then Cruisers) from birth to potty training. That's when we switched her to Huggies Pull Ups. I tried a pack of Huggies but this is what happened all the time.

This is a diaper explosion.

They happen, there is NO WAY TO AVOID THEM. But just imagine this TIMES TEN when I used Huggies brand. It was down her PJs legs, up her whole back, in her sleeves, and up into her hair! Not so fun at 3 AM when you're trying to change a baby in the dark for a late night quiet feeding. You have to wake them up and bathe them, rinse out poop from the clothing, wake up half the house, and cry a little because you haven't slept since you were in your second trimester. It's ok though, just remember one day their children will repay the favor. Now as far as size, just read the box. It's got the weight range listed on the side. I wouldn't recommend a large Costco size box of size newborn though, but definitely in size one. Speaking of Costco, or BJ's Wholesale... great stores for diapers at formula (if you need it) at a great cost. 

With my second child, however, I started with cloth diapers. Now, I don't want to go too into this but... really ask yourself if you like to throw money away literally? I sure didn't with Layla. Cloth diapering is a great option! Ultimately, you have to decide why one diapering method works better for your family, your child and your wallet. There are pros and cons to each, and whatever your reason for using cloth (saving money over the course of your baby's diapering years, fewer diapers in landfills) or disposables (far less interaction with poo, never worrying about having enough diapers washed and ready to go) -- you shouldn't feel guilty about a choice that works for you.

I will write a blog about cloth diapering in more detail soon, stay posted.

After birth must haves for the "4th Trimester"

My top 10 must haves after the birth a new baby

Let's face it, it's unavoidable. You come home from the hospital with your beautiful and perfect baby, but you think "Oh man, I wish I had a ..." Well that's where this list comes in. Once you give birth you are going into a new unknown, what some moms refer to as "the fourth trimester." Being prepared can take away a little of that stress.

With my first child, the day after we came home I realized there were somethings I needed (LIKE A PUMP!). I had bought a few of them ahead of time, or received them as shower gifts. If you are pregnant, here’s what worked for us… if you aren’t, just skip everything but #1… because everyone can benefit from easy access tank tops. 

1.Target’s Nursing Tanks- Every new mom needs comfort! I have about 6-8 of these in different colors and live in them. You've got to love a shirt that can let the girls hang free! And Target carries the cheapest around in an array of different colors. Now you can whip them out whenever the mood strikes you… or your baby. Husband's get a kick out them too.

2. Target's Nursing Bras- Again just like their tanks... AMAZING! I recommend the 2 pack of sleeping nursing bras and their wirefree bras. They have a lot of different styles. I have noticed that they are some of the most comfortable bras around! I prefer them over my Motherhood Maternity bras. Just try to stay away from any underwire, you'll already feel like your girls are going to pop. Why bother risking it with underwire poking you (J/K, not really).

3. Bamboobies Washable Nursing Pads- Really, why buy disposables? I used many boxes of disposables with my first child. They fill up with milk, smell, and leak! It's pretty gross. These babies never smell, are leak proof, and come in regular or overnight (great for newborn nursing). I'd recommend the 12 multicolor pack and the 8 overnights. The regular style are shaped like hearts and come in pink, nude, and black; while the overnights are blue circles. You can wear them upsidedown, or upright, whatever works for you. They are made from bamboo. I can say as a bigger chested momma, upsidedown works better if I'm going to skip a feeding. Anyway, these are my NUMBER ONE must have! I recommend them to all my fellow mommas and have never heard a bad thing about them. Sidenote- I wash mine every 3-4 days.

4. StayFree Ultra-thin Overnight Pads with Wings- One word... Lochia. Yup, eww. If you haven't heard that term well let me inform you. After you give birth you bleed, A LOT! It can last for up to 6 weeks. You've got to be prepared since you can not use tampons after having a baby. Kind of makes you feel like an awkward preteen again. You have 2 options to go down your legs or down into some highly absorbant, ultra thin, extra long pad. I chose the later and since I was still ‘adjusting’ to non-pregnancy for weeks and weeks after I delivered, these prevented me from a highly embarrassing situation. Plus the thin profile allowed me to walk without looking like I had a watermelon between my thighs. I vote that hospitals should use these for their post-delivery leakage needs… they are a heck of a lot better than those throw pillows they hand out.

5. Playtex Personal Cleasning Cloths- As mentioned above, it gets pretty messy. These cloths are like little miracles, especially for a new mom who's needed an episiotomy. Helps you stay clean and fresh with a cool fresh wipe. These are a must for me during periods as well since sometimes toilet paper doesn't leave you feeling clean every time. These sure do though.

6. Lansinoh THERA°PEARL® 3-in-1 Breast Therapy- Oh my, this is just wonderful! Once your milk comes in, you can get sore. By sore I mean, you feel like your girls are rock hard and even a soft touch can have you crying in pain. These make for GREAT relief. You can warm them up in the microwave, place them on the side you are going to start a feeding on, and watch the letdown begin! The warming gel beads help your milk start flowing like no tomorrow. After you are ready to switch side you can reheat for 15 seconds or use on the other side. When the feeding is finished, the cold option is heaven! Helps with soreness and makes this momma happy. I love to use the covers around my PUMP when I'm pumping. I wrap a warm one around and it really helps with the letdown for pumping.

7. Medela Tender Care Lanolin- Those first few weeks or months can really take some getting used to for a first time breastfeeding momma. It is tough, especially on the girls. You get tugged on, pinched, improper latch, and sore/cracked nipples. It can be very painful, I didn't even want the bath towel to touch me, I was like "they can air dry!" This little bottle of cream works wonders. You just apply it after each feeding and tuck the girls back into your awesome Target bras with a Bamboobie on each side ;)

8. Playtex Embrace Double Electric Breastpump- I love this pump so much I still have it from my now 4 year old. Our playtex ventaire wide mouth bottles and nurser bottles screw right onto it. I like using it without liners and pumping straight into bags or bottles. You can double pump, do one side, or feed baby and pump the other side at the same time. Comes with a car charger and really cute bag that doesn't scream "Milking Machine" at all. 

9. The Boppy Pillow- I could live without this. From day one in the hospital, within an hour of being born I was already feeding both my kids on their boppy. Makes a great little napping perch for baby after they fall asleep and you tuck the girls away. When they are older you can use it to prop them up, or for tummy time. They come with a cover or two. I personally have 3 covers since you never know when it will be covered in milk you shot across the room or spit up.

10. Thirsties Cloth Diapers- There are different types but regardless of which you choose, I recommend the one size style. You get snaps that let you make the bigger or smaller depending on baby's size. They come in covers, pocket diapers, all-in-ones (AIOs), and fitted diapers. You can get Aplix (Velcro) or Snaps to close them on the top. We love this brand of cloth diapers and think every mom should try one. Mostly we use the duo wrap covers with prefolds, or the AIOs.